The "Keeping my head down" Campaign

Have you ever felt like you're on a roller coaster ride in life? Sometimes you're at the top and sometimes you're at the bottom? I would like to feel that way once in a while. At least that way I could experience what it feels like to be on top.

Nope, not me, not at work. I am perpetually on the bottom. I work for this woman who has an amazing business sense and really knows the line of business we are in. She; however, has the social skills and diplomacy of Hitler! She is the type of person who has no problem with putting others down or making you feel stupid. She is intolerant, critical and judgemental.

I am usually at trouble at work and I tend to not fit into the office any better than I fit into society as a whole. I am louder and less polished than my coworkers. Generally, I am accepted and liked anyway. My boss can't stand me and no matter what I do, it's not good enough.

I used to feel like I was working for someone with a severe mood disorder. One day I'm on top and can do no wrong and then next day I am on the bottom and can do nothing right. Lately, I just hang out at the bottom. Look on the bright side...It's a lot less farther to fall. My newest transgression? I fainted at work.

I passed out at work and it affected our workers comp ranking. I filed private insurance for the medical bills and the ambulance ride, but it still had to be filed as workers comp. Therefore we won't receive our safety bonus for this month and for this I am being punished. I understand being disappointed but to be angry? Come on!

Today was the first day she didn't have an attitude with me. I am not falling for it. It's a trap!!! Everytime I think I am rising back up, she pushes me down. Now to many this may sound like self-pity and an exaggeration, but I can assure you it is my reality. I can't afford to quit and I love my job and my co-workers. I feel like the abused child and I am the one whose siblings feel sorry for me because they aren't abused but they can't be nice to me or they will get in trouble and they are secretly glad it's not them. Not, that my co-workers are happy when I am miserable.

Anyway, I am keeping my head down and minding my own business and doing my work to the best of my ability. I have no control over a neurotic boss or anyone else, only how I respond to her.