I can feel completey satisfied and fullfilled after sex even without an orgasm. I have had only a few orgasms from sex in my entire life. The reason for this train of thought?
My live-in is terrible in bed and I only feel frustrated after sex. He thinks he's being "Gangsta" but he's actually inconsiderate. There is no foreplay. He says "I'm naked" or just climbs on top. I have made suggested and have talked to him about it, but we are unable to come to any compromise. The problem is that he doesn't care about sex at all. He wants sex once a week at night, in the dark, in 1 of 3 positions to choose from. I try to introduce new things. I try to tell him what I need and explain to him what I want. It ends up with him being defensive and him telling me all I think about it sex and that makes me feel as if I am a pervert. He said that there's more to a relationship than sex and I agree. But sex IS part of a relationship and it should be satisfying. I don't have to climax to feel satisfied. What I am looking for is intimacy. There is no intimacy in our relationship. We don't hug, kiss or snuggle. We don't even sit together to watch TV because he hates TV.
It has affected me to the point that I am feeling rejected and I am considering having an affair. I do know that the feelings of rejection and inadequacy have more to do with being abandoned as a child that his turning down sex. I have talked about it with my sponsor and with a couple of people in my network and I have talked about it in meetings. I don't think that I can marry him at this point. I have even considered kicking him out.
It's about so much more than sex. I try to be very positive. I try to live a spiritual life. For every positive thing I say he has three negatives. We don't agree on anything and he doesn't seem to see anything wrong with that or want to get better. I am used to being around other people who are trying to better themselves.
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